“Oh, no you don’t, Constable. You’re staying on Bajor for another week.”
“But, Doctor…” Odo was too tired to truly sound irritated.
“Odo, look at it this way. Major Kira is also going to be staying on Bajor for a while, probably close to a month, so she can get some peace and quiet while she recuperates. It’d be nice if someone she knew could stay with her and keep her company.”
“All right, all right, Doctor. You win.” Odo held his hands up in surrender. “Now, if I could just contact Lt. Cmdr. Worf and…”
“No.”
“But, Doctor, I think you fail to realize…”
“Odo, I think it’s you who fails to realize that another week won’t kill you…or the station. Now, go relax, have fun, and don’t you dare think about work. That’s an order.” Bashir closed the channel and left Odo staring at a blank screen.
“One hot Darjeeling tea, extra sweet.”
The cup materialized and Odo was grateful for the soothing effect it had on him. He had not had a calm morning. The day had started when he had awoken to an empty bed. Kira had left, and he had no idea when, why, or where to. She wasn’t in her room, and he hadn’t had anytime to look for her elsewhere.
Then the conversation with Julian. That had been just plain exasperating. He had been looking forward to returning to work, looking forward to having something else to occupy his mind rather than the fiery red-head, it seemed, that his mind had etched into his every waking thought…and dreams as well.
Odo finished his tea and jumped into the shower. It seemed like the perfect start to a day, no matter how imperfect the day. Neatly fitted in a pair of light grey slacks and a blue shirt, Odo decided to…
To do what? The conference and Kira had taken up all his time until now. And now, away from the station, Odo found himself at a complete loss for something to do. The city had very little to offer. A few shops here and there were the biggest draw. Everything else was traditional necessity shops, where the locals could find what they needed.
Well, the hotel offered various activities, but most of them were aimed at tourists. However, there was a pool.
Water.
Liquid.
Fluidity.
It had been one of the first things he had learned to do: swim. The very nature of it was the closest thing Odo had found to being a Changeling.
You need to start trying to accept who you are… Kira’s words echoed in his head. That dinner seemed so far away, and so much had happened since then.
Five minutes later, Odo had changed and was poolside. Nobody else was in the pool, most likely the fault of the gloomy, cool day. No matter. Odo dove in with precision, like everything else he did, without even testing the water.
The water was freezing but Odo tried to ignore the discomfort as stroke after stroke he tried to drive the unanswered questions from his mind.
Stroke after stroke. Lap after lap. He finally paused, but only to take in enough breath to plunge deep in the pool. He was just skimming the bottom when it happened: seemingly every muscle in both his legs cramped.
Odo spun in pain, desperately willing the sharpness away, but it would not go. Arms pumping as if trying to grasp hold of the water and pull himself towards the surface, Odo swam towards the open air. Every movement in his legs twinged but he needed oxygen.
A breeze brushed Odo’s face as he broke from the water and clutched to the edge of the pool. His head and lungs throbbed. It wasn’t the same. For a brief moment, he had been struck by the same sense of entrapment the Great Link had caused him that first time. He had left then, and he had left now. It was all the past and Odo let it drown behind him.
He lifted himself out of the pool before walking unsteadily towards where he had left his towel. The pain in his legs convinced him to sit down, despite the chilly breeze, and the exertion he had put forth took its toll as Odo fell asleep.
(-|-)
“My child, your pagh has already led you in the right direction. Why do you not trust the path?”
“I don’t know!” Kira paused, realizing she was yelling at a Vedek. “That’s why I came here. I need the guidance of the Prophets.”
“Your pagh is strong, willful…”
“You mean stubborn.”
“That as well, my child. It has taken a great deal for you to ask for help. This must concern you greatly.”
“It does.”
“Very well. You seek the advice of the Prophets. May they guide you down the right path.”
Kira nodded. She needed to see the Orb…again. It always seemed to be the only thing to make sense in the middle of chaos…except for maybe Odo himself.
“Do not be surprised if your vision raises more questions than answers.”
Kira stepped in front of the case and waited as the Vedek gently opened it. She peered anxiously and apprehensively at the glimmering hourglass of eternity and then it happened: the blinding white light to start off the vision.
She was naked, lying on a bed that was as cold as ice. She tried to pull into a fetal position but her body was locked into position. She barely managed to grasp the corner of a sheet.
But its cover didn’t help, for it, too, was frost ridden. There was no warmth and Kira lay shivering helplessly on her bed.
And as quickly as it had started, the vision was over, but Kira was left with a deep chill in the heart and every bone in her body.
A hot bath back at the hotel would help. At least, Kira hoped it would.
(-|-)
Teeth chattering, Odo quickly changed into the warmest clothes he had. It had been well-night an hour before he had returned to his quarters, the chilly afternoon finally wakening him.
“Computer, increase temperature to 32 degrees.”
The swift increase in temperature caused small beads of perspiration to form on Odo’s forehead, but still he could not dispel the deep chill set in his bones.
I wonder where Nerys is…
He had left a message for her. Now, all he had to do was wait.
(-|-)
Why did you leave?
That had been Odo’s message. Kira stared at it for the umpteenth time. Why had she left? She hadn’t wanted to, that was for certain, but Bashir had contacted her to talk about recuperation. She had cited a late breakfast as why she was in Odo’s quarters, and that bothered her.
She couldn’t let herself admit to anyone else the eerie control Odo had over her. She felt it most when he looked at her with those crystal blue eyes. They cut through all of her exterior toughness, down to the core of who she really was.
And he was so gently and caring. Most people never knew about that aspect of the man, and Kira was secretly glad, for that meant he had more to share with her and almost only her.
But he was not perfect either. He was stubborn (just like she was) and he was fiercely proud (just like she was). And now… now he was just as fragile as she was, just as mortal. A shiver ran down Kira’s spine as the thought of living without Odo crossed her mind. Only it wouldn’t leave.
(-|-)
“Come in.”
Kira was bombarded by what felt like the remnants of a heat wave. Wisely, Odo had not decreased the temperature as quickly as he had increased it. The chill settled farther into Kira’s soul, as if trying to escape the warmth.
“Nerys, I… it’s not too warm in here for you, is it?”
“No, Odo. It’s fine.” They both paused and Kira knew it was her fault. “Look, Odo, about this morning…”
“It’s okay,” Odo answered, cutting her off. “I understand. You just made a mistake, that’s all.”
“That’s not it at all, Odo, and you know it. I just had some things to sort through, to figure out.”
“And?”
“And I figured them out.” She took his hand as she said it. “I love you. You are one of my dearest friends, but…” She could feel Odo trying to pull away and she smiled at what she knew he was thinking, at the doubt and fear swirling around in his head. “But,” she emphasized again, “there’s more than just friendship.”
Odo’s eyes changed from that of an innocent fearful child to that of a loving, caring man. Was she really saying this?
“Nerys, I…” Should he? Or would he be rushing things? Then again, she must already know he loved her.
As if sensing his thoughts, Kira spoke. “I wouldn’t mind hearing if. I’m not a mind reader, you know.”
Odo smiled at the irony before taking her head between his hands. He gently pushed the hair from in front of her eyes, softly caressing her face. Then he kissed her, kissed her long enough to make sure she knew he wasn’t going anywhere that would take him away from her.
“Nerys, I…” Odo pause as he felt something building inside of him. It assaulted him, and for a moment he stopped breathing.
Then, it happened.
He sneezed. A shiver ran through his body.
“You’re not getting sick on me, are you?” Kira asked, half in jest.
“I…achoo…don’t know.” He thought back to how cold he had been this afternoon with the pool. Hadn’t there been something called a cold somewhere in Human history? He would have to talk to Bashir about it.
Kira handed him a steaming cup of Darjeeling tea, extra sweet, and guided him to the couch.
“Just sit down and get some rest. You’ve probably weakened your immune system with lack of sleep.” She placed
a blanket over him. “Drink some tea and then take a nap. I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.”
The warmth surrounding Odo was lulling him into sleep but there was something not quite right. A chill still lay deep inside him, and he could sense it in Kira as well.
“I love you, Nerys.”
And with those words, the chill was forever driven out.
(-|-)
“I can feel it now, the empty and the ache
That bitter little pill that I don’t want to take
Instead I’d swallow all the pride I ever knew
To crawl back if you asked, all that I would do
I can see it now…”
i can see it now
-Mary Chapin Carpenter
(-|-)