Theirs was a strange type of friendship.
Sure, they talked every now and then, during a meeting or just before or after, nothing more than something to pass the time. Then there were the criminal activities reports; nothing fancy, but they did get the chance to catch up on some of the more basic elements of life.
But they never truly talked.
And they never truly asked each other if something was wrong. Oh, maybe on the way out the door, or when one of them was getting ready to leave, but never a sincere, direct question.
And that was what Odo found himself thinking about. Every conversation he had with her depended on her. Without her inputs, her anecdotes, it would be short and to the point. It was just the way he had of talking around her. Get the words out as quick as possible; reduce the risk of saying the wrong thing, letting your secret out; or making a fool out of yourself. No matter how closely he guarded his feelings for her, no matter how tightly he kept it locked away, as soon as she approached him it felt it rise to the surface, threatening to spill over. He had to maintain the barriers, fleeing if necessary. It all boiled down to efficiency.
It all boiled down to the fact that it was a one-sided friendship. Kira felt perfectly comfortable telling him things, perhaps because one sees a lot as a security officer, or perhaps because the short conversation he made gave the impression of being an excellent listener.
Even now, what was he doing? Waiting for her to call him, by some miracle. For the comm unit to be activated, and for it to be Kira on the other end. Even when she was missing. The thoughts started swirling. She survived the Occupation, she can survive one day without you hanging over her. She can take care of herself. Don’t worry so much…
It all boiled down to the fact that it was a one-sided friendship. She talked endlessly and he was good enough to listen to her. That was something she had always wanted: someone to listen to her, to what she said. Not what Bajor demanded or what the Resistance demanded, but what she wanted and needed. It was a welcome change, but he offered no choice material in return. Kira thought about it. Sometimes she just felt as if she were using him, as if neither of them would fully understand their purpose in their relationship.
But she could not ask him this. She could not find him and ask him He could more than adequately take care of himself.
After all, what were friends for?
(-|-)