“She is never going to love you. How could she? You are a Changeling.” Those words kept beating around inside his head; well, not exactly his head because now he was in his gelatinous state, but they echoed in his mind. It was true of course. How could he ever expect her to love him? He thought it had all been over when the situation had wrenched the words that he had never expected to say from his mouth. Then he had learned of the rouse. “You are a Changeling.” He had been able to convince her that is was just because she had been with him that she had been imitated, but he hadn’t been able to convince himself because he knew the truth. Every time he saw her he wanted to tell her that he was in love with her and would always be, but there was the pain of Bareil’s death still lingering in her eyes, in her spirit. And then the quantum stasis field Garak had used to interrogate him. It had forced him to admit to someone that he wanted to go home, but how could he? How could he leave everything, everyone behind? And yet how could he continue to live side by side with her and yet remain so distant?
“Sisko to Odo.”
He rose from his spot, assuming his form.
“Yes, Commander?” he said in a voice that always seemed a bit irritated.
“Constable, I have a little mystery for you to solve. It seems Quark is missing ten cases of very fine Terran wine. He claims it is worth a hundred bars of gold-pressed latinum,” continued Sisko with a very innocent tone to his voice.
“Humph,” was all Odo said.
“I thought you might react that way. Could you help Quark find his very fine Terran wine?”
“I’ll get right on it.” After all, nothing major was going on onboard the station right now, and he hadn’t bothered Quark in almost a day. It was about time he got caught for something.
(-|-)
After a few minutes, Odo had solved Quark’s dilemma and was surveying the Promenade when he saw Dax helping Major Kira to the Infirmary, which was damned difficult for Kira seeing Dax was quite a bit taller than her. Odo almost went to help her, as he almost always did, almost always had. But his control still reigned over him and he followed them into the Infirmary as any friend would have.
“What happened?” he heard the Doctor ask.
“Let’s just say…” Dax was trying to think of a delicate way to put this.
“Let’s just say that Bajorans were not meant to fly, holosuite or not,” Kira finally interjected.
“Ah. The hang-gliding program. She tried to talk me in to that once, luckily I had to perform an emergency surgery.”
“As I recall, Julian, that emergency surgery turned out to be an Andorian with a hangnail.”
“Yes, well, I’m sure it was very important to the Andorian. And besides, it was a very serious hangnail”
“Anyways, if she had been watching where she was going, she wouldn’t have crashed into that tree.”
“Me?! I assure you that tree was not there before. You probably programmed it in just for me to crash into.”
Bashir had been tending to Kira the whole time and when he finally clapped his tricorder shut, Kira hopped off of the biobed. As she strode out of the Infirmary, she spotted Odo.
“Checking up on me, Constable?”
“Just making sure your little collision wasn’t serious.”
“Well it wasn’t.”
“Glad to hear it. I take it you won’t be joining Lt. Dax for anymore hang-gliding sessions anytime soon.”
“Not if I have anything to do with it.”
“Ah.” He hated this awkward conversation.
“Major…”
“Yes, Odo?”
Nothing. Nothing. Odo’ital. Nothing.
“O’Brien to Kira.”
“Yes, Chief?”
“Major, I’ve got a problem up here with a Bajoran transport. They don’t seem to want to dock at any of the ports I’ve designated.”
“I’m on my way. Kira out,” she said as she let out an irritated sigh. Sometimes pilots could be so damned annoying.
“Was there something else?” Odo had been standing there as if something was weighing on his mind.
“No, nothing.”
(-|-)
Odo didn’t sleep, but oddly enough he did dream in a way. His consciousness would lower itself to the point where someone would be dreaming. But when he dreamed, it was always the same. First the explosion. Then seeing her trapped under the bulkhead…hit squarely by a phaser. The constant draw he had felt to the Omarion Nebula. Finding his people, being the happiest he had probably ever been. Having to leave because of…There really wasn’t a reason, just a feeling that he had to return with the Defiant. Having to watch her lose Bareil, having to watch losing her, or what he thought was her. Desperately trying to save her and in turn losing control of himself in his anxiety. Having to face her every day after that. Having to ignore the fact he was homesick. Having to admit it to Garak, of all people. Having to…wake up and live another day just like the rest.
(-|-)
“Ah, Constable.” It was Garak. “I thought I might take you up on your offer to have breakfast together, that is, if you’re not too busy.” Odo nodded. As they started making their way toward the kiosks, Garak continued to talk. “Dr. Bashir and I usually share meals, but he is busy at the moment.”
“I see. And I was next in line,” he said sarcastically.
“Hardly. There were several other people I contacted before you but they were all busy.”
Suddenly the station rocked, hard. Odo immediately tapped his communicator.
“Odo to Ops.”
“Kira here.”
“What’s going on up there, Major?”
“Two Cardassian..” the station rocked again. Odo could hear the sparks in Ops, “…warships, Galor class have just decloaked off the port side of the station. Apparently…”more sparks, a few startled and wounded cries, “…all of them weren’t destroyed by the Dominion.” Just then, a large blast caught Odo and Garak’s attention. It was one of the shops on the Promenade. Odo almost started for it when he heard another blast and a cry he could not mistake from over the comm line. He stood there, trying to hide the anguish. She was in Ops but there were people here who needed help. If he went, pandemonium would grip the Promenade, but if he stayed then…
“The Promenade is closed. Return to your quarters and ships NOW!” He rushed over to help untangle the majority of the rushing crowd, directing people here and there. Surprisingly Garak was helping. It was almost as if he actually cared what happened to these people. Garak caught Odo’s question in a glance.
“Some of my best customers,” was his answer.
“Humph.”
(-|-)
“Sisko to Bashir. We need a team up here right away. The Major’s down, along with several others.”
“Aye, sir.”
“Commander, the ships are moving above the station.”
“Ready phasers. Lock on as soon as they clear the pylons.”
“Locked on and ready, sir.”
Smoke filled Ops, turned into a bloody fog by the red alert. The klaxon echoed in Sisko’s head and he struggled to make his voice heard over it and all the commotion going on. The station continued to leap, kick, and rock.
‘Like a bronco in a rodeo,’ thought Sisko.
“FIRE!”
Two beams sliced out from the station, making direct hits on both of the warships.
“Shields on both ships down 37%!”
“Let’s hit ’em again. Lock on and fire at will.”
More beams sliced through the vacuum of space and hit the warships.
“Shields almost gone!”
“Ready torpedoes and hit them with everything we’ve got left!”
“Shields gone!”
Sisko threw his hands up in front of his face as the panel he was at short-circuited. The station rocked one final time, and the klaxon ended.
“Report!”
“Both ships have broken off their attack. Casualties reported in Docking Pylon 2. Shields are down, life support to the Promenade is minimal. Partial power drains reported all over the station.”
“Close off all non-essential areas and concentrate on keeping life support running in the Habitat Ring. Chief, I want you to get those shields running as soon as possible. I want to be ready in case we have anymore visitors.”
“Aye, sir,” answered nearly everyone. Sisko turned at the sound of the approaching lift. Bashir and two of his team spread out over Ops. Bashir tended to Kira who seemed to be wounded the worst. There were pieces of shrapnel in her arm and parts of her face. She had been standing by one of the consoles when it blew. The rest were pretty minor injuries. Most had just had the wind knocked out of them in their attempt to evade the sparks flying everywhere. Kira was still conscious, albeit barely.
Bashir looked her over and said, “It’s just not your day, is it, Major?”
“Very….funny, Doc..tor.”
“Chief, are the transporters still working?…Good. Transport Kira and me to the Infirmary.”
“Energizing.” and they were gone from the commotion surrounding Sisko.
“Benjamin.”
“What is it, Dax?’
“Those ships weren’t firing normal disrupters. I don’t know how or why, but there was something different about those hits.”
“So that’s another problem on our hands. I want anything you can give me on this by 1300 hours.”
“Yes, sir.”
(-|-)
Odo had been up to his ears in dealing with all the people running to and fro. It was all he could do to keep from turning into some kind of monster and chasing everyone out. But no, what they needed now was instruction, a calm in the storm, and Odo was determined to be that calm.
Pretty soon the Promenade was cleared and quiet. Odo sighed. This was the type of control he liked the best, silence. No one to bother with, no one to worry about, no laws to enforce, no criminals to chase. He was just about to contact Ops when he heard another blast and a scream. He rushed up the stairs to the second level and saw a humanoid form lying on the floor. He was trying to move, futilely. Odo helped him to his feet and got him to the Infirmary. There were surprisingly few injured there. Most of the injuries had been minor. A nurse assisted the man to a biobed and started treatment immediately. He had been burned from head to toe. Odo almost shuddered. He turned to get away from it. The control it must take to endure that, or the insanity, was too much for him to bear. As he came full around, he was met with a view that almost made him insane. Kira was lying on the biobed, with most of the shrapnel still embedded in her body. Bashir was busy preparing something or another. Odo reached out his arm to Kira. He wanted to help her, but how? He knew nothing about medicine. Some movement caught the corner of his eye, and he quickly retracted his arm. It was Garak, again. Why did he always seem to be around? Bashir was starting to remove the shrapnel from her face. Odo couldn’t watch. He had no control of the situation or himself right now. He walked back out into the open space of the Promenade.
“Odo to Ops.”
“Sisko here. What can I do for you, Constable?”
“What just went on here? The Major said something about Cardassian warships.”
“Apparently the Dominion didn’t destroy all of the ships with the cloaking technology. Two of them decloaked and opened fire immediately. Lt. Dax is preparing a report about some special weapon they used that was apparently able to penetrate our shields more than normal. I would like you to be at the briefing at 1300 hours as while.”
“Acknowledged. Odo out.”
1300 hours. Just enough time to patrol the station 5.3 times and agonize over things.
(-|-)
When the briefing started, all the senior officers were there except Kira.
“The Major is fine, but she still needs to stay under supervision at least until tonight. If you ask her, however, she’d act like she just got a paper cut.”
“No doubt. Now, Dax, what have you got on this weapon they were firing with?”
“It appears they were using a disrupter that was able to disable the shields faster than normal. That’s what caused most of the damage, especially on Pylon 2.”
“Any indication on how?”
“Not yet. The computer’s still working on it.”
Sisko acknowledged that thought and moved on.
“Chief, before we go planning our defense for an attack that may never come, how are the shields coming?”
“I’ve got them operating at 63% right now. They should be up to full strength within the hour.”
They all turned as the doors opened. Kira walked slowly in. She was favoring her left arm and her face still bore the scars of the cuts. She hadn’t even waited for them to be healed.
“Major!” shouted Bashir, standing from his seat. “I thought I made it clear you were to remain in the Infirmary for the next 12 hours.”
“You did, Doctor. None of your nurses wanted to listen to me down there so I decided to add my insight here.”
Bashir slumped backed into his chair. He knew it was pointless to fight with her. The Resistance had bred exactly that into her: resistance. And besides, the last thing he needed right now was for her to get riled up.
“All right, Major. What have you got?”
“Those weren’t your normal Galor class warships. I mean, besides the fact that they had the cloaking technology. As I’m sure Dax has figured out, the weapon was one unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The fire seemed acutely attuned to certain parts of the station. There’s something more to that disrupter fire, and we’ve got to figure out exactly what that is.”
“What are you suggesting Major?”
“Maybe there was more going on in the Orious system than the Obsidian Order let on.”
“Dax?”
“I suppose it’s possible.” She punched up a few screens on her PADD. “According to the latest computer analysis, it looks like they were firing two beams at us. I’m not certain but from the readings I’m getting, it looks like one beam was packed full of electrons, and another beam of positrons. If the two beams were to converge at one point, that would explain why are shields went down so fast. It would be like a constant barrage of mini-torpedoes.”
“Now hold on a minute,” interjected the Chief. “You’re talking about changing energy. If they’re doing that, there’s got to be a tremendous drain on their power systems, especially their shields. It’s still a hell of a lot of work to do. And I’ve never really thought of the Cardassians as pioneers in the science field.”
“Well, it looks like you’ve underestimated them, Chief, as I’m sure a lot of us have. But if what you say is true, Chief, then they’re in for some rough weather.”
“Benjamin.” Dax had been going over some things on her PADD. “It looks like the beams are modified after they start firing. If we could stop the ships from modifying their fire, it might solve our problem, or at least one of them.”
“Any ideas?”
“What about a quantum stasis field?”
“Constable?” Sisko was slightly puzzled. He had never thought of Odo as the scientific type either.
“I’ve had some…experience with them. They prevent anything from changing.”
“Chief?”
“It might work, but I’d have to have more information first.”
“Ask Garak. He’s had more…use of one than I have.”
“Very well. Chief, ask Mr. Garak about it. Dax, work on figuring out if this stasis field will indeed work. You’ve got until 1800 hours. If there are no other comments,” he glanced around, “Dismissed.”
Everyone got up and left. Kira was the last one to do so. Sisko had asked Bashir to stay a moment too.
“And you, Major, are to go back to the Infirmary with Dr. Bashir.” He saw the argument coming in her eyes. “That’s an order, Major.” She nodded her head, reluctantly, in acknowledgment and left with the Doctor.
(-|-)
Garak was confused. What possible reason could the Chief have for wanting to know about a quantum stasis field?
“Just tell me anything you know about one,” sighed O’Brien.
“Really, Mr. O’Brien, I’m afraid I’ll be no help to you. I’ve had very limited experience with one.”
“Really?”
“Really.” The truth. How strange it sounded to Garak’s Cardassian ear.
“Well, Odo practically made you out to be an expert on the subject.”
“The Constable suggested this?”
“Yah, what’s that got to do with it?”
“If I may ask, what exactly do you need this information for?”
O’Brien proceeded to tell Garak the basic information about their encounter with the two warships, leaving selective parts out, of course. When O’Brien had finally finished, Garak spoke.
“I see. Very well, Chief. I can see the need for my knowledge of this subject is of the highest priority if peace is to return to this station anytime soon.”
O’Brien rolled his eyes and started to wonder if maybe he couldn’t figure this out by himself, but before he had long to consider it, Garak continued.
“I’ll need access to some of your files.” They headed toward Ops, which was the best place to figure things out, and Garak proceeded to tell O’Brien all that he knew about the stasis field, leaving selective parts out, of course.
(-|-)
Odo had been patrolling the station, maintaining order, not that there was any one to maintain order over. Now he was walking the Promenade. It was silent and dark. Power was still minimal. A few lights here and there cast shadows that hid their secrets well. He heard the faint hum of the station and his boots on the floor beneath him and nothing else. No shouts of ‘Dabo!’, no clinking of glasses, no Quark yelling at his brother, no idle chitchat. He made his way past the various kiosks and shops, down corridors, up corridors, a lift to here or there. He was totally entranced by the silence. He didn’t realize where he was anymore. All he knew was that he was on the station, not home. He was living in the silence, not just this silence now, but a continual silence. The shadows everywhere reminded him of how he lived, hiding from everything and yet as shadows are, clearly visible and set apart. He should be home, in the Great Link, not walking the empty corridors of this station. But there was a part of him, a very large part that said,
You chose this life, you chose this as your home.
(-|-)
The nurse turned off the lights and left. They had given Kira some warm milk (she had thought it awful tasting stuff) to help her go to sleep and pacify her, if such a thing was possible. It hadn’t worked. What had worked, for Kira anyways, was faking sleep for awhile. The exit of brightness on her closed eyes told her the coast was clear. She left the Infirmary and saw Odo walking, but not observing things as he usually did.
“Odo?”
There was no answer.
“Odo?” she questioned again, quickening her pace to catch up with him. “Constable.”
He jolted, literally, back into reality. Kira stepped back as he came out of his reverie. He looked confused and disorientated.
“Something I can do for you, Major?” He continued to look around, getting his bearings.
“No,” she tentatively said, still watching him closely. “You just looked a little out of it, that’s all,” she finished with a forced chuckle.
“Ah,” he replied in that tone of his that meant he understood what someone else understood even if what that someone understood wasn’t commonly understood as the truth.
“Doctor Bashir let you out of the Infirmary?”
“I let myself out of the Infirmary. Doctor Bashir can be a little overbearing at times.”
“I’ve come to realize that Doctor Bashir is always overbearing when it comes to his patients.”
They continued to walk, the silence following them like a puppy dog. Odo was almost resentful of Kira. She had interrupted his thoughts, his world. She had no place there, but she had managed to finagle her way in anyways.
“Excuse me, Major. I have some incidents to report,” and with that he walked off. Kira was left looking after him, as confused as she had been before.
(-|-)
“Report,” Sisko said as he saw all of his senior officers present.
“Shields are fully operational. They’re ready for anything those Cardassians can throw at us.”
“Good work, Chief. I hope you’re right. How’s the stasis field coming?”
“Well, from what Garak has told me, I think we can pull it off. It’s going to take three runabouts and the station to create a large enough field to encompass those warships.”
“Use whatever you need to get that field operational. Right now, it’s the only chance we’ve got.”
The Chief nodded in acknowledgment. Treaty or no treaty, he’d be damned if he was going to let a bunch of bloody backstabbing Cardies do anything to the station.
“There are going to be some side effects, Commander. Our sensors won’t be as effective, the aim on our weapon banks is going to be off, and replicators and transporters are going to be inoperable.”
“Understood. Now,” continued Sisko, “any ideas on why the Cardassians would attack the station?”
“It certainly is a provocation for war with the Federation.”
“Why would they want another war? They’ve got their hands full with the Maquis.”
“Correction, Major. The Central Government has a problem with the Maquis. Since these ships have the cloaking technology, we have to assume that the Obsidian Order is behind this.”
“The question still remains: why would anyone want to destroy the station? I always thought the Cardassians wanted to reclaim it.”
“Maybe so, but let’s think about what the Order was trying to accomplish. They were trying to destroy the Dominion, and eliminate the threat from the Gamma Quadrant. What’s the only other way to do that?”
“Close the wormhole…and the only way to do that without a fight is to destroy this station first.”
“And with this new weapon and the cloaking technology…”
“…they’ve got a better chance than ever before.”
“Chief, how long will it take to set up the field?”
“About five hours.”
“You’ve got three. Dis…
“Commander.”
“Yes, Dax?”
“When I scanned those ships, I got some very unusual readings. I’ve been studying them, and I can only come to one conclusion. Whoever’s on those ships, they’re not Cardassians.”
“Another problem. Try to identify who is on that ship, Lieutenant. Dismissed.”
(-|-)
The security office was humming now as the station prepared for another attack. Odo was securing areas here and there, directing teams to settle disputes, and keeping general order. They were getting close to the time when they would be able to use the field. It was also getting close to the time when he would have to revert back to his gelatinous state. He would just make sure he reverted back before the field was initiated. He decided to take one last patrol around the station; he seemed to be doing that a lot these days.
The station wasn’t quiet anymore. The security officers moved around, doing their duty. Quark was securing his bar, more specifically his latinum, despite the fact that security had repeatedly tried to get him to leave.
“Quark.”
“Constable. Am I glad to see you. Would you explain to your officers that I have to get my things secured before you try this field-thing of yours.” Quark could see that Odo wasn’t buying any of it. “Constable,” continued Quark, in as serious a tone he could muster, “if I don’t get certain items secured, if anything goes wrong, it will be a giant loss to my business. That means a major loss to the business of the Promenade too. Now, unless you get these officers out of my way, I will hold you personally responsible for any losses.”
“Humph.”
“Odo, I am shocked you don’t realize the gravity of the situation I’m in. If I don’t…”
He never got to finish his statement.
“Come along, Quark,” said Odo, placing him in the hands of two officers. “Confine him to quarters. We don’t need him running around the station at a time like this.” Or any time, for that matter. Quark’s little Ferengi body was literally hauled away despite his protests, threats, and, of course, bribes. Once Quark’s voice was out of Odo’s earshot, Odo noticed an increased hum to the station.
“Odo to Ops.”
“This is Ops. What can I do for you, Constable?” asked the recognizable voice of Commander Sisko.
“Have you already initiated the quantum stasis field?”
“Yes. The Chief was able to get it completed ahead of schedule. Why? Is there a problem?”
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. It raced through Odo’s mind. “No, Commander. You’ll let me know when something happens?”
“Of course, Constable. Sisko out.”
Odo felt his heart sink at those words, or whatever you would consider his heart. Hopefully the Cardassians would not be stubborn today. The field had to be kept in place; it took too long to create such a large field that they couldn’t chance another surprise attack. Hopefully they would return soon. Odo decided to go to his quarters. No one would suspect anything since it was his regenerative time anyways. He could stay in his quarters and sit this thing out, if he could last that long. He gathered his wits about him and resisted the urge to run to his quarters, to hide before it started happening again.
(-|-)
It had been six hours since the field had been initiated, and there was still no sign of the Cardassians. There had been no detection of any ship, cloaked or otherwise anywhere for parsecs around. Everyone was getting a bit impatient, a bit edgy; all except Odo, who was already that way.
He had made it to his quarters just fine. The effect wouldn’t start till he had been stuck for awhile longer. But the hours had past by and he had received no word from the Commander. What was happening to him looked like a corpse decomposing. His voice was no longer steady enough to call Ops and tell them to turn off the field.
No one must find out about this. And then a chord struck inside his mind. There was already somebody who knew.
“Odo…to…G..ar..ak.”
“Yes, Constable?” came the innocently sweet tone of the Cardassian’s voice.
“Could you…come to my…quarters? I…” how hard this was to say to anyone, “I need your…help.”
“Really? Well, Constable, I would be more than happy to…”
“Now, Garak! I need your help now!”
Garak recognized that tenor of voice in the Constable, something he’d only heard once before. True, the Constable wasn’t exactly a friend, but…he didn’t want anything to happen to him either.
(-|-)
The door sounded, and Odo had to resist the urge to shout out at a hundred decibels. “Come.”
Garak entered the room, trying to find Odo amongst all the items in his quarters. “Constable?”
“Over here.” He was in a back corner. Next to him was the bucket he used to use to regenerate in. It held flowers taken care of to the point where they looked like they would outlive anyone on the station. But it was worse than on the warbird. Odo had been like this for too long, and despite Garak’s lack of knowledge about Changeling physiology, he knew that Odo couldn’t take much more of this.
“Garak, you have to…convince them to…turn off the field.”
“What makes you think they’ll listen to me?”
“They have to. I’m…not exactly in any…condition to be making…demands.” Each word, each syllable came from Odo’s mouth in a forced effort to keep control over himself. He had told Garak one of his secrets; he was damn well not going to tell him the other.
“All right.” Garak felt like arguing, having a good ol’ pummeling of each other’s minds, but something told him now was not the time. “Garak to Ops.”
“What do ya want, Garak? We’re a little busy right now.”
“Major, it is imperative that you drop the field immediately.”
“What?! You’ve got to be joking.”
“I assure you, this is no joke. Drop the field.” Silence hung in the air. The channel had been closed.
“Now what?” asked Garak.
“We wait.”
On the other end of that silence, the crew on duty at Ops was trying to figure out what possible reason Garak would have to want the field dropped.
“Could he be setting us up? for another attack?”
“Possibly, but I don’t think Garak would be willing to help anybody destroy the station.”
“Dax, anything on those sensor readings?”
“I’m not sure. The readings look familiar, but I just don’t know where from.”
“Keep working on it.”
“Well, if Garak’s not setting us up, what reason could he have?”
“I don’t know, and we don’t have time to sit around and figure it out. Major, go and find out what he’s up to.”
“Aye sir. Computer, current location of Mr. Garak.”
“Mr. Garak is in Constable Odo’s quarters.”
Kira shot a look at Sisko, as did everyone else, that said What in the world is Garak doing there? Sisko nodded to the Major to find out, and she briskly set out to do exactly that.
(-|-)
Odo had been slumped against the wall for sometime now, no longer having the strength to stand or sit. Garak was walking around Odo’s quarters, noticing everything.
“Very interesting, Constable. Very interesting indeed.”
Odo made no reply.
“You do realize of course that they’ll probably send someone down here to figure out if I’m crazy.”
Again Odo made no reply, but drooped his head lower. Just then the door chimed. Odo tried to answer but couldn’t. Grunts were all he could muster now.
“Who is it?” asked Garak.
“Garak, open this door. Odo, are you in there?”
Odo’s head shot up despite the weakness he was feeling. That voice. Why did they have to send her?!
Garak looked to Odo for an answer and saw one clearly written in his eyes, across his face, throughout every feeble movement he made.
“I’m sorry, Major, but I can’t do that. I’m afraid you’ll have to come back another time.”
Outside, Kira stood bewildered. What the hell was Garak doing?
At Garak’s reply, Odo relaxed. And Garak didn’t miss a beat.
“You know, Constable, I’ve been observing you these past few days, and I’ve come to notice that you act differently whenever the Major is around.”
Odo grunted a sarcastic note of curiosity.
“As a matter of fact, whenever the Major is mentioned, you become very defensive. I pride myself on judging character, Constable, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say that…”
“Computer, override door seal. Authorization Kira alpha-six-five-omega-beta-seven.”
“…you were in love with Major Kira.”
Odo snapped his head up again, half in agony over what Garak had just said(because it was true), and half in agony of the rumble of his quarter doors opening. He felt ready to die rather than face the situation that would follow.
(-|-)
Kira walked through the doors as Garak uttered the words “you were in love with Major Kira” and froze in her tracks. Her face blushed and then grew pale as the realization rushed over her. Her eyes clouded for a moment as her mind raced. All her talks, visits, and every time they had been near each other. Her head reeled at the discovery. She was brought back to reality by the realization that someone was watching her, intensely. Her eyes cleared and in a moment she was a captive of his heart, his soul. She could see him clearly, despite all of the obstacles in his room. In that instant, she knew Garak’s words rang true. Kira went to talk and found her mouth dry. Meanwhile, Garak had followed Odo’s eyes and stood as he saw her.
“Ah, Major. You have to discontinue the field before it’s too late for the Constable.”
Kira took one look at Odo, his eyes still piercing into her soul and didn’t hesitate.
“Kira to…”
The station rocked, hard, and the klaxon sounded.
(-|-)
“Kira to Ops. What’s going on?!”
“Two Cardassian warships just decloaked. They appear to be the same two as before.”
“No matter. We need to drop the field, Commander.”
“Major, may I ask why?”
“I would prefer not to elaborate, but it is vital you drop the field.”
“I’m sorry, Major, but that field is the only thing keeping us from taking a beating right now. Sisko out.”
Kira did not sigh; she was too tense to let any amount of relaxation rock her body.
“Garak,” she said, summoning him. She indicated the door with a nod, and he left. “And Garak,” she added as he stepped across the threshold, “don’t let *anyone* else in here.” Garak nodded and continued his step, allowing the doors to slide shut and thus shutting off the outside world.
(-|-)
The doors shut, and Odo could no longer look at Kira. His breathing became erratic and hurried. He was struggling to maintain control, maintain his courage, especially now.
“Odo.” She had moved silently, slowly across the room, watching him every step of the way. “Odo, we need to talk.”
Odo’s body stiffened as much as he could, but he couldn’t stop his body from shaking. Now was not the time for this, anytime but now. He had no defenses left; he couldn’t face her.
“Odo.” She sat down in front of his view, just a little to the side of his trembling form. He could not, would not look at her. “Odo, look at me. Odo,” and she grasped his chin with one hand and forced him to look at her. She felt the dryness of his skin and how brittle it was. She forced her hand to keep his head steady, trying to give him some courage, and yet trembling herself inside as much as he. But she forced herself to look past his appearance, his form. She had to help him, and herself, by finding out how much was behind Garak’s words.
“Odo, what Garak said…” he tried to break her grasp but she held him tightly. “…is it true?”
Forced to look at her, he was forced to admit the truth.
“Yes.” It was a rasp, forced by pain, affection, fear, and the truth that time had born. Kira let go of him, but he didn’t look away. Kira found herself looking into his eyes with quizzical ones. She could see in his eyes the enormity of truth there was in that three-lettered word. Finally she looked away and felt what he felt. How could this be happening? It couldn’t happen, not again.
“Nerys.”
Kira turned her attention back to Odo. Her mouth was drier than before. She licked her lips and shuddered as she tasted the salt of tears she had willed not to fall. Her will broke at the sound of her name. It was the first time, that she could remember, that he had used her name, and not her family’s, and so she let the tears fall.
“Nerys, I..love…you.”
Just then the hum of the station died down, and Odo melted into a puddle, gathering bits of himself together as his last effort. He stayed right there, at Kira’s side, not able to move or wanting to, while she made no effort to move either.
(-|-)
“Report.”
“Minimal damage. Shields at 62% and holding. Warships have powered down weapons. Massive damage showing up on the port ship.”
“Sisko to Kira.”
There was a long pause.
“Kira here.”
“The warships have ceased their attack. Did you find out why Garak wanted the field shut off?”
“Uh…yes.” There was another pause. “Uh, Commander, I have something I need to take care of.”
“Very well, Major,” said a very confused Benjamin Sisko, “but what have you found…”
“I have to go. Kira out.”
Sisko looked at Dax, and they each exchanged quizzical looks. Dax shrugged her shoulders, and Benjamin was faced with two warships and the mystery behind them.
“Commander, one of the warships is hailing us.”
“On screen.”
The starfield was replaced with a view of the warship’s bridge, commanded not by a Cardassian or Romulan, but by a smooth, undefined, unfinished face.
“Commander Sisko.”
“The Founders.”
“Commander, we meet again. We may have failed this time, but rest assured we will not stop until the Dominion has secured a foothold in the Alpha Quadrant.”
“Your attitude certainly has changed.”
“Yes. The recent attack by the Cardassians and Romulans has led us to believe that order over the Alpha Quadrant may be the only solution.”
“I must warn you that we don’t give up without one hell’v a fight. You may want to reconsider your plan to establish ‘order’ here. End transmission.”
The Changeling’s face was replaced by a starfield and Dax reported, “Both ships are headed towards the wormhole.”
“Back to the Gamma Quadrant, but for how long?”
A silence hung over Ops as everyone silently asked themselves that same question.
(-|-)
It had been almost ten hours since the Founders had left the Alpha Quadrant. Odo was physically read to go back to work, but Kira was still there. She had sat by his side for six hours, apparently thinking things over. Then she had moved to rest against a rock Odo had had brought up from Bajor. She was sleeping, but Odo feared that it might be a light sleep, causing her to wake at any movement. He carefully changed into his humanoid form, not disturbing her. He sat against the wall and studied her. Her face was tense, as she slept restlessly. It was sleep from pure exhaustion, nothing more. She had just not been able to face things awake, so she faced them asleep.
Odo went to rise from his position and knocked over his bucket. Kira was awake immediately.
“Odo.” She went to stand too, but found her leg asleep. “Odo.” She needed his attention.
Odo was trying to clean up the mess he had made while trying to ignore the fact that his name meant nothing. Kira used is repeatedly, not knowing that each time it tormented him with the meaning and comforted him with the sound of her voice. Finally Kira could wait no longer. She approached him, but her leg that was still asleep prevented her from doing anything more than stumbling. Odo caught her and steadied her.
“Careful, Major.”
“Odo, we need to talk.”
Odo sighed, and resigned himself to talk. He was still worn from his recent experience and could not fight with her today.
“Have a seat, Major.”
She sat down at a computer console as it was the only seat around. Odo paced back and forth in front of her, obviously trying to decide what to say. Kira sat there patiently, trying to give him the time he needed, but there was so much she needed to know. Three times he had stopped pacing, turned to face her, and started to talk, but each time he stopped short of saying anything. Kira was growing anxious about this entire situation. She needed to know how the Constable felt, one way or the other. So when he stopped, and turned to face her the fourth time, she started without hesitation.
“Odo, why didn’t you tell me before?”
He had been facing her, but now he turned his back to her. “How could I? You were in love with Bareil. Even before that you never considered me anything more than security chief, a shape-shifter never belonging anywhere.”
“That’s not true, Odo. I admit that in the beginning we may not have been friends, but I was still carrying around the resentment of the Resistance. But we’re friends now, aren’t we?”
Odo nodded. There was a long pause. Kira was trying to force the words from her mouth that she feared saying.
“Odo, did you mean it when you said you loved me?”
Odo turned to face her again.
“Have you ever known me to lie, Major?”
Kira blushed, but she felt cold inside, cold for not realizing, cold for not wanting to realize, cold for fear of what she might do next. She had been given another chance at love, but she still clung to Bareil’s love like a child clings to a security blanket. Kira was afraid, afraid that if she abandoned the memory of what she had had with him, and forged ahead, looking for love again, she might end up with none at all, in the past or in the future.
Odo was pacing again. The look of desperation was growing on his face. He couldn’t stand this awkward conversation any more than Kira could. He stopped at one end of the room and spoke.
“Major, for the longest time I’ve wanted to tell you that…I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” questioned Kira. Odo nodded.
“I wasn’t there when Bareil died. I know how much he meant to you, but I just couldn’t face you. Not after having to watch you lose him and go through all that pain.”
“I understand and I forgive you.”
“But, Major, there’s something else, something that I haven’t told anyone.”
“What is it?”
“Do you remember when we chased that Maquis to that asteroid, and it turned out to be one of the Founders?”
She nodded.
“And you remember me telling you that she had impersonated you because you had been the one in the shuttle?”
Kira nodded, slower this time as the realization began to dawn on her.
“Well, Major, the real reason she impersonated you was because she felt that if you were dead, or I at least thought you were dead, then I would no longer have a link to the solids. Then I would return ho…to the Gamma Quadrant and take my place in the Great Link.”
Kira started to speak, but Odo motioned her not to.
“The thing is, Major, there is some truth to what she thought. If you had truly died, in the cave, and I had let you die, I don’t know if I would have been able to stay here.”
Kira sat in silence. She saw the frustration racking him, and knew how hard it was for him to say this words, to speak them aloud to someone. She did not interrupt.
“You see, Major, I’ve formed a life for myself aboard this station, and I’ve come to respect many of those I work with but…”
“Odo…” Kira said. It was an acknowledgment that she understood what he could not say.
“Major, there’s just one more thing. There came a point in my encounter with the alternate you that I knew that it was not you. If you remember, I said that she said something I know you would never say.”
Kira nodded, vaguely remembering the conversation.
“What I didn’t tell you, Major, was what she said. At the time I said it was just a slip of the tongue, but I feel that you have a right to know.”
Kira allowed him to go on, neither encouraging or discouraging him, and yet silently willing him to continue.
“Major, what she said was…Oh, how can I put this?” Odo was fumbling around for words. “Major, there came a point when the alternate you was ordering me to leave, but I wouldn’t. At that moment, I was so afraid that I was going to lose you that I told you that I was in love with you. Major, what she said next was what I know you would never say.” Odo took a deep breath. It was going to be so painful for him to say these next few words because he knew they were true. “She said, ‘I’m in love with you too, Odo,’ and that, Major, is something I know I will never hear from you.”
“Odo, I…I…I don’t know what to say, what I should say.”
Odo waved that remark off.
“You don’t have to say anything, Major. Just knowing that you’ve heard me is enough. I can’t expect anything more than that.”
Kira got up to leave. She had a lot to think about.
(-|-)
She was due on duty in a few hours, but, how could she go back to work like nothing had happened? Nonetheless, she was at Ops on time for her shift. Her body moved from panel to panel automatically. Her mind was still back in Odo’s quarters. She kept replaying the situation over and over and over in her head. Questions rattled her mind. Why hadn’t she seen it? Could she have done something to prevent it? Would she even have wanted to? How did she feel about him? Was she…
“Kira.” The tone was commanding, forceful, with just a tinge of worry. She jolted, literally, back into reality. Dax moved back slightly.
“Wh…what is it, Dax?”
“Maybe I should ask you the same question. I’ve been saying your name for five minutes. What’s on your mind?”
Kira studied the panel. How was she going to get around this one?
“Uh, nothing. I was just, a..thinking about something.”
“In what galaxy? Come on, Kira. What is it?” persisted Dax. She was genuinely curious, not knowing the extent of what she was asking Kira to reveal.
“I can’t talk about it.” And then added to herself, But, who am I going to talk to it about? She was in a bind for sure now, because the one person she usually talked to about things was Odo. There was no one to talk to because she wouldn’t put Odo through the embarrassment of everyone, or anyone, knowing. But Garak knew, and Kira was determined to curb Garak’s knowledge there. She had to get away, from the station, from the bustle, from Odo. Bajor. It was the only place to truly sort things out.
(-|-)
“Come.”
The doors to Sisko’s office slid open. He finished with the PADD in his hand, and then exchanged it for the baseball he kept on his table.
“Ah, Major. What can I do for you?”
“I’d liked to request a leave of absence.”
“May I ask what for?”
“Actually, Commander, I’d prefer if you didn’t.”
Sisko nodded an acknowledgment. The Major was acting very secretive lately.
“I need to ask you how long you plan to be gone and where.”
“Bajor, but I’m not sure for how long. I have…I have a lot of things to sort out.”
“All right, Major. Take as long as you need, up to three weeks. After that I’m going to need you back here. Especially now that we know the Founders have Cardassian warships.”
“The Founders were behind that attack?!” She had failed to read the report. Sisko nodded, with a quizzical look in his eyes. Maybe this leave would help the Major. She was certainly acting strangely. Kira took a moment to assimilate this new information, and to stop her stomach from churning.
“When do you plan to leave?”
“There’s, um, there’s a transport leaving for Bajor within the hour.”
“Then I won’t keep you.”
Kira nodded a feeling of gratitude and left.
(-|-)
The transport had mechanical problems making the usual five-hour trip from DS9 to Bajor a nine-hour trip. Kira was glad when she could finally set foot on Bajor. She made her way to the outskirts of town and headed for the mountains. They rose high above the cities of Bajor, the diversity of climates varying from valley to valley. Hiking to a suitable spot could take anywhere from a day to a week. She started climbing. If she went the right route, she should end up in a forest where no one could find her.
After eight hours of hiking, Kira came upon a suitable spot. There were towering trees over a complacent clearing. She set her gear down and fell asleep against the trunk of a large bat’wi tree. She had only gotten four hours of sleep in the past day. And what with all that had happened, those four hours hadn’t been too beneficial. So, now she slept, deeply.
She was swept down into the depths of her own mind, drowning in the chaos surrounding her, unable to free herself from the events entangling her pagh.
“…Bareil was on the transport, and he’s been injured.” Those words had started it all. To lose him, only to gain him back shortly after that. When he had first looked at her after Bashir had been able to revive him was one of the happiest moments. But then Winn and that damn treaty. Not that she didn’t realize the importance of the treaty, it was very important, the first of many steps to Bajor’s recovery. But why did the price have to be so damn high?
“You’re right. Next time we are invited out to dinner, I will make sure you are the one to say no.” How funny he had been! And yet now that she remembered that conversation, it did seem rather like a lover’s quarrel. But, maybe not. He was just being rather juvenile. And then on the asteroid. What had happened? One moment they were agreeing to meet back in twenty minutes, the next, Odo was rushing her out of the caverns. He had been different the entire trip back to DS9. She had noticed a different tenor to his voice and movements like he was fighting himself, but she hadn’t known why…then. But now she knew; now she knew so much more. The thing was, she didn’t know if that was for better or for worse.
Now the past few days weighed on her mind. How he had been so disorientated after the attack by the warships. And then…to see him like…whatever that damn field had done to him. It had made her sick to her stomach, sick to her heart. He had looked so vulnerable trying to be strong, but failing nonetheless.
“Nerys, I..love…you.” and then he dissolved into a puddle. She had stayed by him, as a silent comfort, to both of them. She had fallen asleep, only to be awakened by a clatter. The first thing she saw was Odo, fumbling with a turned-over plant. She had tried to help, to help him, but her damn leg had gotten in the way. When he had caught her, she could tell there was something different, yet something right.
She woke with a start, the rain drenching her through her clothing. She hastily set up camp and climbed into her shelter. The rain in the mountains of Bajor came in torrents. Once it started, it rarely stopped for weeks except for sporadic droughts lasting all of five minutes. The wind howled past the shelter, threatening to tear the shelter along its path. Kira sat with her back towards the wind, as if that somehow could stop it from ripping away the small shelter. She tried to block out the howling wind, tried to block out all the confusion and chaos in her mind. She tried to get to what was foremost on her mind, what was foremost weighing on her heart. She tried to fight off the sleep determined to engulf her. She tried to fight off the flood of memories surfacing inside of her. She needed to face this awake and sure of herself. But it was useless. Sleep won out, and she fell again into her memories, into the past.
It had been quite a…revelation. She had felt…she had felt such a myriad of emotions: embarrassment, surprise, astonishment, ignorance, and confusion. The confusion came as all the others collided together and forced her to face the truth, that Odo loved her and that she…she…she woke up. The rain had stopped, briefly, and Kira marveled at the silence around her. No birds dared to venture out of their shelter, knowing that the downpour was sure to ensue shortly. But the silence beckoned to Kira. She stepped out of her shelter. There was a hot sun overhead. She decided to take a quick walk, before it started to rain again. There was a stream nearby; perhaps a cool draught was just what she needed. The stream, once just a gurgling brook, was rampaging its way down the mountain barely staying within its banks. Kira took a sample of the water. It read clear. She splashed her face with the cool water, trying to further ward off sleep. She caught her reflection in a quiet pool near the bank. Her hair kept falling in front of her eyes, now that she was letting it grow out a bit. She was looking less like…what had that Terran said? Ah, yes. She was looking less and less like this Peter-Pan-fellow. A drop disturbed her mirror, and Kira instantly cursed herself. The rain started coming down again. She walked back to her shelter, knowing even if she had run, she would still be as drenched as she already was.
(-|-)
Most of the day was spent thinking, listening to the drone of the rain as it fell against the shelter. Sometimes the wind howled through the trees, almost making a song of it. But the drone wore on, and Kira found herself falling asleep again.
“Have a seat, Major.” She had found the only one and taken it. She had felt as nervous as he looked. Her hands willed her mind to let them shake with the fear she felt, but her mind had replied with a resounding NO. So she had sat there, wanting him to say something, anything. She had spoken only when her hands had threatened to smash the console in front of her. She felt the nervousness grow in her as he started to tell her what he had been going through when Bareil died, and when…when she had awoken again, Kira found herself more confused than ever.
(-|-)
Two weeks passed, and Kira was finally beginning to see things clearly. For awhile, her mind kept slipping into the past, showing her things she never noticed before. Now, she was finally beginning to understand. Yet something still nagged at her pagh, something she knew wasn’t right, something that wasn’t good.
“Oh well,” said Kira, shrugging it off. Perhaps it was just being away from her duty for so long. She dug out her communicator from one of the pouches in her pack and reactivated it.
“Kira to DS9.”
“Ah, Major. Good to here from you. I hope you’ll be returning soon.”
“Station falling apart without me, Commander?” She could here Sisko chuckle at the other end of the connection. “I just wanted to inform you that I’ll be arriving on a transport from Bajor tomorrow.”
“Acknowledged. Until tomorrow.” Kira nodded, to the silence around her. “Sisko out.” She deactivated her communicator, to make sure she didn’t get interrupted during her last day of leave, and stuffed it back into her pack. That night, no dreams plagued her sleep.
(-|-)
The next day was beautiful, and it almost made Kira want to stay another week. The rain had finally stopped. But the pull of her duty and getting back to work was more appealing. She finished packing away everything, strapped it to her back, and started for the transport station. She followed the stream as it wound its way down the mountain. The sun was rising, turning the water its more appropriate shade of green. Everything was right, except. That one thing still nagged at her, determined to make her realize something, but what?
“Then I would return ho…to the Gamma Quadrant and take my place in the Great Link.” She remembered wanting to say things that would assure him that those things weren’t true, to comfort him, but he had waved her off. She had entered a kind of stupor at that point, as she realized that there was something else on his mind, something else that was hurting him to tell her. “She said, ‘I’m in love with you too, Odo,’ and that, Major, is something I know I will never hear from you.”
Those words had cut through her heart as she realized what kind of a position he had been put in. She had been dumbfounded then, and she found herself that way now. For now, she didn’t know if he was right or not. But, there was one thing of which she was sure: the station was her home, and his too. She had to make him see that first, before she could see if there was anything for him within herself.
She came out of her trance and turned quickly to her left. There had been a large growl and rustling amongst the bushes. If it was a jak’l bear, she was in trouble. It was. Kira reached for her phaser and then cursed herself for not bringing one. The bear lunged for her, and Kira tried to stay one step ahead of it.
(-|-)
Dax was waiting as the transport docked. She had a wonderful holosuite program that she knew Kira would enjoy: scuba diving. At least, Dax hoped she would enjoy it. She heard the massive doors as they rolled away, and stepped to the side to let the many passengers pass. At first, there was a torrent of people, all eager to escape the meager confines of the transport and explore DS9. Then, it began to thin as the more weary travelers exited. Dax waited patiently. Kira hadn’t said which of three transports she was taking. She hadn’t been on the first two, so she must be on this one. No doubt she was having on argument with someone about the ride. But as the doors slid shut, and no Kira had emerged, Jadzia began to worry. She returned to Ops, alone.
(-|-)
Sisko was sitting at his desk, going over some of the paperwork he detested, when he heard his doors open.
“Ah, Dax. What can I do for you?” he asked, gladly turning off the console.
“Benjamin, you’re sure Kira said she was coming back today?”
He could sense that she was uneasy about something, but he didn’t know what.
“Yes. Why, Dax, you were there when she called. What’s the matter? Hearing going on you, Old Man?”
Jadzia smiled, but it was a smile that was forced under stress to indicate that under any other circumstances, that might have been funny.
“The reason I ask, Benjamin, is because Kira wasn’t on any of the transports that came in today.”
“You’re sure there are no other transports due today?”
Dax nodded.
“Maybe you missed her amongst the throng of people. Have you checked with the computer?”
“After the first two, yes, but I came here right after the third. I haven’t had time to…”
“Computer, location of Major Kira.”
“Major Kira is not aboard the station.”
Sisko tapped his communication channel open.
“Sisko to Kira.”
There was nothing but silence. Sisko sat there, pondering. He considered the Major’s character, her actions, and then decided.
“Dax, we’re going to Bajor.”
“Aye, sir. And thank you, Benjamin.”
Sisko nodded as Dax left. Then he began to assemble a search party.
(-|-)
The Defiant made the trip to Bajor in no time. The Chief had asked that they use her because he had some kinks to work out that could only be detected when the engines were in use. It was a small crew this time. Sisko, Dax, Chief O’Brien, Doctor Bashir, and Security Chief Odo made up the principle complement. Twenty-five security officers were also along for the search, along with one nurse, as Bashir had put it, “just in case.”
“Approaching Bajor,” announced Dax.
“Standard orbit,” ordered Sisko, thinking standard order. “Start a scan of the planet. See if you can pick up the Major’s combadge signal.”
An “Aye, sir” came from somewhere on the bridge, followed by “There’s no sign of the Major’s signal at all.”
“All right. Lieutenant, open communications to the station where Kira arrived.”
“Channel open.”
“This is Commander Benjamin Sisko of Deep Space Nine.”
“I am Barat Aiul. How can I help you?”
“I was wondering if you could give us some information regarding a passenger of your station about two weeks back.”
“Well, I don’t know. Many people come through here. I can’t remember every face and name.”
“I’m looking for Major Kira Nerys. She’s my first officer on DS9.”
“Kira Nerys? Let me see.” He paused deep in thought. “Ah yes. I think I remember her. Red hair, and quite a temper.”
Sisko smiled. That sounded like Kira all right.
“Do you know where she headed after disembarking?”
“Hmm. No, I don’t. But if you can wait a moment, I’ll get my wife. She has a better memory than I.”
Barat’s face disappeared from the screen, and Sisko shifted in his seat. A moment later, Barat’s wife appeared.
“My husband tells me you’re looking for the red hair woman who was here about two weeks ago?”
“That’s right.”
“I can’t be sure, but I remember her having quite a pack on her back. She ended up going the opposite way from everyone else. I think she was headed up into the mountains. I remember her saying that she had a lot to think about. She looked very trouble. I tried to ask her what was wrong, but she ignored me. It’s too bad. I think I could have helped her sort out her problems. Working at a transport station, you see all types. She was a different one, I’ll tell you that. Why from the first moment I saw her, I told my husband…”
“Excuse me,” interrupted Sisko, “but I really must go. Thank you for your help.”
The screen was replaced with a view of Bajor below them.
Dax chuckled. Sisko sighed.
“Better memory indeed.” Then he turned to Odo. “Constable, I want you to prepare eight teams. The more ground we can cover, the faster we can find the Major.”
Odo nodded, and quickly formed the teams.
Sisko turned to tactical.
“Lieutenant Eddington, you have the bridge.”
“Aye, sir.”
(-|-)
The sparkling of the transporter disappeared and was replaced by twenty-four figures. Eddington and six others, including the nurse, had stayed behind on the Defiant.
“All right, let’s spread out. Team A, north, Team B, northeast, Team C, east, Team D, southeast, Team E, south, Team F, southwest, Team G, west, and Team H, northwest.”
All the teams nodded, and headed on their ways.
After three hours, none of the teams had found anything.
“Team D to Team A.”
“Team A here. Go ahead, Constable.”
“Commander, I suggest we further divide the teams to cover even more ground before nightfall.”
“Agreed. I’ll send out the order. Team A out.”
“All right,” said Odo, facing the other two members of his team. “Let’s split up. Try to cover as much ground as you can, but don’t rush.”
Odo headed off into the woods, leaving the other two arguing about which way each of them were to go.
(-|-)
The sun set, and Odo took out his palm-light. He was one of eight who were still searching. The other sixteen had returned to the ship to rest. He had eight hours to find her. He made his way through the trees, wasting much of his time searching the shadows. He finally came across a stream, winding its way down the mountain. He cast his light upon it and noticed a reddish tint to it. He began his way up the mountain.
It was another two hours before he reached her. He almost missed her, but then he had seen a remnant of what had been her pack. The blood soaked the ground around her. Odo flinched; he couldn’t stand to see someone suffer.
“Major? Major, are you all right?” He searched her over with his light. The entire left side of her body had been mauled by something. She was losing a lot of blood.
“Odo to Bashir.”
“Go ahead.”
“I’ve found her, Doctor.”
“I’m on my way.”
(-|-)
“Bashir to Defiant. Transport me to the Constable’s coordinates.”
He stood ready to transport.
“Defiant to Bashir. There’s something blocking transport, probably some kind of ore in the mountains. You’re
going to have to hoof it.”
Bashir let out a disgruntled sigh, not for the exertion, but for the fact that Odo had contacted him first meaning that Kira was hurt. He glanced at a PADD someone shoved in front of him, indicating where to go, and was off. As he started on his way, he slapped his combadge.
“Bashir to Odo.”
“Go ahead, Doctor.” There was an edge to his voice.
“I can’t transport there. It’s going to take a good two hours to reach you. You’re going to have to take care of the Major until I get there. Bashir out.” He cut the transmission short, knowing that the Constable would be quick to retaliate against him otherwise.
(-|-)
“But, Doctor…” then he realized the channel was closed. He turned his attention back to Kira. She was unconscious, but whether from loss of blood or a blow to the head, Odo couldn’t tell. He only knew one thing: he had to stop the bleeding. He had no medical supplies with him, so how in the world…There was only way he could think of. He strove to drive the disgust he felt away as he formed eight appendages, instead of just four, and wrapped them around Kira’s most serious wounds. He could immediately feel the warm, sticky blood as it tried to escape. He carefully applied pressure, both to stop the bleeding and to stop himself from releasing her. Two hours. He hoped the Doctor had overestimated.
(-|-)
A shuttle arrived at a spot about two kilometers from where Kira was. Bashir passed it quickly. He had to get to Kira before she died, if she hadn’t already died. He had outrun every officer with him, and ran even faster when he saw the heavy crimson tint to the water. He was out of breath as he collapsed onto his knees next to Kira. He didn’t question the tentacles wrapped around her most serious wounds, or their owner. He just silently thanked the gods that Odo had done what he had done: saved Kira’s life. He stabilized her, and then called for the shuttle. Hopefully it could maneuver close enough to get Kira in it without too much jostling.
“Odo.”
Odo looked up.
“Odo, I want you to let go, one…ah, one at a time. Give me time to close each wound.”
Odo nodded. Slowly, one by one, Odo untangled himself from her. He had realized the final wound just as the shuttle came into view. He stood up, forming his regular form again, hiding the blood in the deepest part of himself. Bashir, and three others boarded the shuttle with Kira. Odo started his descent of the mountain to await transport, clear of the ore and the horror.
(-|-)
Back on DS9, Bashir immediately began surgery. It was going to be long tedious work. There were numerous ligaments to be repaired, bones to be set, and blood to be replaced. But the most work was going to be concerning the healing and scarring.
Odo had gone immediately to his quarters, to rest. He had tried to remove all of the blood bound to him, but some would not come off. It was almost as if it had been fused to his own molecules, something not all the changing in the universe could separate. So once again, he hid it in the deepest part of himself.
He paced in his quarters, keeping his humanoid form. It was the most… practical. It was all his fault anyways. If he hadn’t told her about how he felt, none of this would have happened. He struck out, letting years of frustration, anger, sorrow, and pain lash out at the walls. He grew into a massive creature, smashing everything in sight. But it lasted only a moment. He reverted back to his humanoid form, breathing heavily to vent his emotions. It always seemed to work for humanoids.
He let four hours pass. Then he set out for the Infirmary. He had to know if she was all right. The Promenade was quite busy. He welcomed the noise and bustle, willing it to drown out his own confusion. Odo entered the Infirmary with a purposeful stride. Across the way, a keen eye saw him enter.
(-|-)
“How is she, Doctor?”
“Well, we had to synthesize a lot of blood, and there was a pretty serious infection, not to mention she had a bad concussion. It’s going to be touch and go for awhile, but if she gets plenty of rest and doesn’t over exert herself, she should pull through just fine.”
“May I see her?”
“Of course. Although she’s still unconscious.”
Odo nodded and went to see Kira. Bashir marveled at his reaction. It was good those two were friends.
(-|-)
The lights were down low, and Odo softened the soles of his boots to make less noise. He approached her on her left side, thus putting his back to the camera that Bashir had to keep an eye on his patients. He took up her hand in his, and nothing more. He could risk nothing more. The scars still showed plainly against Kira’s pale face. Odo wished he could take them away now, but then he started to see past them. He had to. They were a constant reminder of what had happened. He let the enormity of his emotions rack his body. His form rippled, and his hand loosened from hers. He had caused this. He couldn’t let anything like this happen again.
(-|-)
“Come.”
“Commander, I’d like to request the use of a runabout.”
“What for, Constable?”
Think, think.
“I’d like to go back to Bajor and make sure there was no foul play involved with the Major’s attack.”
“Well,” Sisko hesitated. It was an unusual request. How could there have been foul play? Yet he had never know the Constable to act without a reason. “All right, Constable.”
“Thank you, Commander.” He started to leave, but at the last moment he turned and added, “For everything.”
(-|-)
He stopped by the Infirmary for one last look, then went to his office. He had work to do.
(-|-)
The runabout soared off the pad and headed out into space. Immediately, the station hailed him. He ignored it till he knew it would be too late for them. Then, he opened the channel.
“Constable, what are doing?”
“I’m going to the Gamma Quadrant, Commander, for good. Good-bye.”
And he closed the channel. He knew they would try to tractor him, but he had disabled the beam, as well as the transporters, which would be their next step.
But Sisko was determined not to let Odo make such a rash decision. The Constable had never before expressed any such feelings. Why now? There was only one other way to stop that runabout.
“Lock phasers on the impulse drive. Just disable that runabout.”
“Sir?”
“Do it!”
“Firing…Impulse drive down. The runabout is adrift. He’s not going anywhere, Commander.”
“Good work…I’m taking the Orinoco out after him. Dax, you’re with me.”
The two stepped into the lift, and proceeded to Runabout Pad C.
(-|-)
Odo slammed his fist into the console, shattering it. Why hadn’t he thought of phasers?! Sisko was a resourceful man, but he hadn’t thought that the Commander would resort to phasers. It wasn’t like Odo was a fugitive or anything. The Orinoco came within minutes and tractored the runabout. Odo was going to have one hell’v a time explaining this one.
(-|-)
As the runabouts neared DS9, Sisko opened a channel to Bashir while Dax went about docking procedures.
“Bashir here.”
“Doctor, we’re bringing the Constable in. He just tried to go back to the Gamma Quadrant for good.”
“That doesn’t sound like Odo one bit.”
“I agree. Once we’re back on board, I want you to examine the Constable. See if there’s anything wrong with him.”
“I’ll try. Bashir out.”
Bashir looked back at his patient as he signed off. He could see the quizzical, worried, knowing expression in her eyes. He knew she was going to get up, concussion or no.
(-|-)
Odo was escorted to the Infirmary. He had assured the Commander that he would cause no trouble. The last thing he wanted was to hurt anyone else. Bashir did a complete set of tests and found nothing wrong with Odo. But that was no surprise. He was released on his own recognizance, but he was still trapped inside himself. He had made a tough choice, only to have it denied him. He returned to his quarters, knowing he would not be any help in Security.
He got bored very quickly, something he rarely ever was. It made him realized how much he valued his job as Chief of Security. And yet, there always seemed to be something missing. If he had returned home, maybe that gap would have been filled.
Someone was at his door.
“Come in.” It would be best to get all questions out of the way as soon as possible. He looked up to see a debilitated Kira Nerys walk through the doors. Odo almost slapped his forehead. He was not having a good day.
“Odo, we need to talk.”
How he hated those words.
“About what, Major?”
“I think you know. What do mean by trying to go to the Gamma Quadrant?”
“I wanted to go home. Surely you can understand that, Major.”
“No, I can’t, Odo. This is my home, and it’s yours too. You may have come from the Gamma Quadrant, but that doesn’t matter. This is where you live, where you’ve formed a life for yourself. You said so yourself.”
“Perhaps.”
Kira could sense his hesitation, but she also sensed an air of concession. They had a lot to talk about, but she had the time.
(-|-)